Celebrity Jeopardy-WWE Superstars!
by morningglory77
Summary: WWE Superstars do the game show-Jeopardy. Based on a skit form SNL.
1. Default Chapter

**Celebrity Jeopardy-WWE style  
**Author's notes: I  do not own anything. This was based on a skit from Saturday Night Live. And please don't get angry at me because I put Undertaker in this. I chose Taker because I thought he'd be perfect for the part, and I don't have nothing against Taker.****

**  
Alex Trebek  
Vince McMahon  
Christian  
Undertaker  
Ricky Martin - for the Video Daily Double                                                                                                                            Triple H**  
  


**Alex Trebek**: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I thought we were done with this, but Regis Philbin, that mongrel idiot, decided to do a Celebrity Millionaire, and network competition being what it is, I stand before you, a broken and miserable man. Let's take a look at the scores. Vince McMahon has set a new Jeopardy record for futility with…  
  
**Vince McMahon:** [interupts] Suck on it Trebek. Suck it long, and suck it hard.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: That's beautiful. You kiss your wife with that mouth?  
  
**Vince McMahon:** No, but I did something to your wife with this mouth! [points to mouth]  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Why? Christian has an impressive -$32,000.  
**Christian:** Dude, I totally reek of awesomness!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: For the last time, no you don't. And finally, Undertaker has a commanding lead with zero.  
  
**Undertaker:** Now listen hear son, I should be in the damn lead because I demand RES-  
  
**Alex Trebek**: [Interupts] Let's just take a look at the board. And the categories are: "Potent Potables"; " Flicks"; "Things Trebek Sucks"-wait! [ Vince McMahon is laughing. ] All right. [ Trebek walks over and takes down the hand-written "Things Trebek Sucks" sign. ] Let's continue..."Potpourri"; "Hot or Cold"; "What Ears Do"; "Is This A Hat"-that's where I name and object, and you tell whether or not it's a hat. And finally, "Colors That End In Urple". Undertaker, you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.  
  
**Undertaker:** Now listen here! I demand some RESPECT!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: [ shakes head ] Let's just go with Flicks for $800. [ McMahon buzzes in. ]  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Trish Stratus.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: What?  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Trish Stratus. Stacy Keibler. Linda, twice.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: That's _Flicks_, Mr. McMahon. _Flicks_. Christian, why don't you pick?  
  
**Christian**: [excited] I'll take balloons for $800.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: That's not a category.  
  
**Christian**: Whoops. My bad. I'll take balloons for $600  
  
**Alex Trebek**: [shakes his head] I tell you what, let's do Colors That End in Urple. For $800. This color ends in "urple". [ Taker buzzes in] Undertaker.  
  
**Undertaker: **Now if I answer this question will give me the damn respect I deserve?!

**Alex Trebek: **Whatever.

**Undertaker:** Thank you! Now let's see: What is light urple?  
  
**Alex Trebek**: [ shakes head ] Wow. I will not even say anything.[Christian buzzes in] Christian.  
  
**Christian:** Duh, hello people, it's obviously Jaleel White.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: What?  
  
**Christian:** Well duh. Isn't it obvious? The guy who wears those cool glasses,who loves cheese. I totally reek of awesomeness and I am so going to win!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: That's Urkel! And I wouldn't say you're winning or not.[McMahon buzzes in.] Oh great Mr.McMahon wants to say something.  
  
**Vince McMahon**: I thought of some more ladies I snogged.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Let's just go to Hot or Cold for $400. And it's a Video Daily Double. Here goes nothing. Please take a look at your video monitors.  
  
[ screen shows Ricky Martin and two dancers. They start dancing. ]  
  
**Ricky Martin**: It's me! Come on, Ricky Martin! Come on! [ music starts ]. Oh my! In this cup there's some hot tea! It's hot hot hot! Watch! [ takes a sip ] Yow! Hot hot hot! So the answer is: Hot hot hot! or cold. Hot hot hot! or cold. Come on! Hot hot hot!  
  
[ video fades ]. [ no one buzzes in. ]  
  
**Alex Trebek**: None of you knows. No one can figure out if the hot tea is hot or cold. [ Christian buzzes in. ] Thank God! Christian.  
  
**Christian:** Is it iced tea? Because it totally reeks of awesomeness!!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: [ frustrated] NO! IT 'S HOT TEA!!  
  
**Christian**: WHAT!? Hot tea totally sucks!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Let's just go to Final Jeopardy. The category is...oh come on, why would they do this? The category is Famous Wives.  
  
**Vince McMahon**: [ laughs ] My day has come! [ keeps laughing ]  
  
**Alex Trebek**: [ rips card ] I'm not going to give you the satisfaction. [ McMahon stops laughing. ] The new category is Anything. Write anything. [ music starts ] Just write. Use your arm, hand, and special pen, and move the pen around. Scribble if you want to, just make some kind of mark. [ music stops ] OK, let's get this over with. Mr.McMahon, you wrote down: Below. I don't know why you wrote that, but technically that's a correct answer. You did write something. Let's see what you wagered: Me. Below Me. [ McMahon laughs ] Below Me...I don't get it.  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Oh, I'll bet you do, you Canadian ponch. [ slaps Trebek on the head. ]  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Proud day for you and your family. Christian, you look rather pleased. Let's see what you wrote down: [ a blank screen is revealed ] Nothing. The question was write anything, and you got it wrong. I'm speechless. Let's see what you wagered: Eleventy billion dollars. That's not even a real number.  
  
**Christian:** But it sounds like a cool number doesn't it?  
**Alex Trebek**: That's simply amazing. And finally, Undertaker.  
  
**Undertaker:**: Finally,now shut your mouth or it'll end up bleeding real soon Alex and listen up! Now listen all of you bastards and bitches. I demand some respect from all of you. Do I have to say this to you again? [Camera shows Triple H smack talk to Taker] Shut your hole Hunter,don't make me come up there! Now what was I sayin'? Oh yeah. R-E-S-P-E-C-T what the word means to me, R-E-S-P...  
**Alex Trebek**: [interupts] Thank you for the song,Taker.Well, that's all for Jeopardy. Good night, viewers, you don't know how lucky you are...[ McMahon pushes Trebek as he walks by. ]


	2. The Rock, Stephanie, Vince McMahon (agai...

**Celebrity Jeopardy- WWE Superstars**

Author's Notes: I don't own anything; this was based on a skit from SNL. The Rock is my favorite wrestler, and I thought it would be kinda funny if he was in here. Anyway somehow enjoy!****

**Cast: Alex Trebek; The Rock; Stephanie McMahon; Vince McMahon (again)**

  
**Alex Trebek**: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Because of what just happened before during the commercial, I'd like to apologize to all blind people and children. That said; let's take a look at the scores. The Rock has set a Jeopardy record by buzzing in 2,000 times and never answering a question.   
  
**The Rock**: Now what in the blue hell was that you sick freak?!! From what I'm seeing The Rock doesn't give a monkey's ass about you or the damn score board, I am here to represent the millions...

**Audience**: AND MILLIONS!

**The Rock**: And millions of The Rock's fans, IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: [confused] Thanks for the comment Rocky. Moving on. Stephanie McMahon has no score at all because she's mostly been talking about her divorce with Triple H  
  
**Stephanie**: Alex, I'd like to say hello to Hunter, I still miss you darling. After the all what we've been through. From the McMahon - Helmsly era, through the faction...

**The Rock:** [Interrupts] Do you think we even give a crap, Steph!? The Rock gives less Monkey crap about you and Hunter!

**Stephanie McMahon:** [cries]   
**Alex Trebek**: That's beautiful. And finally, Vince McMahon's also here, now let's move on to Double Jeopardy where the categories -   
  
**Vince McMahon**: Not so fast Trebek.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: I really thought that was going to work.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: Well, you were wrong, you mountebank. I pose a conundrum to ya, I riddle if you will   
  
**Alex Trebek**: I don't want to hear it.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore. [Laughs]   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Wonderful. Let's take a look at the categories. They are: Potent Potables; Point to your own head; Letters or Numbers; Will this hurt if you put it in your mouth; An album cover; Make any noise; and finally, Famous Muppet Frogs. I should add that the answer to every question in that category is Kermit.   
  
**The Rock**: Kermit can kiss my ass.  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Boy, you may be the most electrifying man in Sports- Entertainment, but you certainly know how to talk...

**The Rock: **Hush your mouth jabroni! Before I lay some whoop ass on ya!   
  
**Alex Trebek**: He has a point. All right, Stephanie we'll start with you.   
  
**Stephanie McMahon**: I'll take Giraffes for a billion.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: [shakes his head] Let's just go with Letters or Numbers for 200. And the answer is "five." Is five a letter or a number? The number five, is it a number? [Rock buzzes in] Rocky, you have an answer.   
  
**The Rock**: I give less crap even if it was Stephanie's two phony wind bags that are stickin' on her chest!

**Stephanie McMahon:** That was uncalled for! Daddy!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: [interupts] Okay moving on. [Rock buzzes in] Rock, you already rang in. 

**The Rock**: I'm not finished yet!...  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Thank you, thank you, anyone else. [ Rock buzzes in ] Rocky, I'm a big fan, but somehow you are giving me gray hairs.   
  
**The Rock**: Whoa, Whoa,Whoa! The Rock says you already have gray hair, and let me ask you this: Is it your natural color?  
**Alex Trebek**: Well, that was truly nice to know. Anyone besides The Rock? [beep] Five is of course, a number. Stephanie, sadly, it's still your board.   
  
**Stephanie McMahon**: I'll take TV shows that did stories about my wedding with Hunter for $300.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: For the last time, that is not a category. Vince McMahon, why don't you pick?   
  
**Vince McMahon**: Well, the game is afoot. I'll take anal bum cover for 7,000.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: That's An album cover, not anal bum cover.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: I can read, Trebek. That says Anal bum cover. I've spent five years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover; failing to do so is my greatest regret.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: You have lead a horrifying life. The category is An album cover and the answer is: The Beatles White album is this color. [Stephanie buzzes in] Stephanie McMahon.   
  
**Stephanie McMahon**: Who are the Beatles?   
  
**Alex Trebek**: I'm sorry, that's wrong.   
  
**Stephanie McMahon**: No, I'm asking you, who are the Beatles, I've never heard of them. [Rock buzzes in]   
  
**The Rock**: Oh, the Beatles, for cryin' out loud, they're from the 60's, no one gives a crap about 'em, what they care 'bout is The Rock!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: For the love of God, shut your mouth. I'll tell you what; let's just go to Final Jeopardy. And the category is: you know what? You guys just decide [rips card]. You each ask your own question and answer it. [Music starts.] There's no way you can get this wrong, because you're asking the question. Ask yourself anything at all and then answer it. You'd have to be the dumbest people in the world to mess this up [music ends]; and now let's see how you managed to mess it up. The Rock wrote: [blank screen revealed] Nothing. Because he stuck his pen through his own hand.   
  
**The Rock**: No, I shoved it up your ass!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: [Looks at his butt] Don't ever come here again. Stephanie McMahon asked herself this question: What sound does a doggy make? Fine. And you answered: [Blank] You didn't know the answer? You couldn't answer your own question?   
  
**Stephanie McMahon**: It was hard. Seeing that my life has been completely shattered by the man I loved.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Unbelievable. And finally, Vince McMahon asked himself: [Show half a picture of a horse having sex w/ Trebek] Ok, I, I think I know where this is going. Let me just see here, [Looks over podium] Yeah, yeah, that's a horse having sex with me. Ok. That's beautiful.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: Come on, you pansy; let the people see my work.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: No, we're not going to do that. Ok, I quit, again. Good night. And would someone please bring me a glass of wine?


	3. The Hurricane, Jamie Noble, Vince McMaho...

**Celebrity Jeopardy - WWE Superstars**

Author's Notes: I don't own anything. Based on a skit from SNL.**  
  
Cast: Alex Trebek; Jamie Noble; The Hurricane ;Vince McMahon (once again)**   
  


  
**Alex Trebek**: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Once again, I'm going to recommend that our viewers watch something else. That having been said, let's take a look at the scores. Vince McMahon is in first place with zero.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: You'll rue the day you crossed me Trebek.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Fantastic. Jamie Noble, who buzzed in 300 times only answering his girlfriend : Nidia.  
  
**Jamie Noble**: Where's Nidia?  
**Alex Trebek**: [shakes head] And finally, The Hurricane has an incredible -$12,000. A  -$12,000 having incorrectly answered a number of first round questions more than once. Apparently angry at Jamie Noble for taking his Cruiserweight Championship.  
  
**The Hurricane**: I'm feeling really pissed, Alex. Who is this guy? [ points to Jamie Noble ] I HATE this guy! I don't even know why is he here! He was the one who took my belt along with his trailer trash girlfriend. Wassupwitdat?!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Thank you, Hurricane. Better luck to all of you in the next round. It's time for Double Jeopardy. Let's take a look at the board. And the categories are: Potent Potables; The Vowels; Presidents Who Are On the One Dollar Bill; Famous Titles; Ponies; The Number 10; and finally: Foods That End In "Amburger." Hurricane, you are in third place, so the board is yours.   
  
**The Hurricane**: Damn it I want my championship belt back!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: [shakes head] Mr. Noble why don't you pick  
  
**Jamie Noble**: Nidia, honey, I bought us a trailer for both of us...  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Mr.McMahon you pick.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: The day is mine! I'll take Famous Titties for 400.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Mr.McMahon, that's _Famous Titles. Famous Titles_, Mr.McMahon  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Damn!   
  
**Alex Trebek**: And the answer is: This movie title is taken from the name of the book "Gone With The Wind." [Vince buzzes in] Mr. McMahon.  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Trish! Lita! Torrie!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Titles, Mr. McMahon. Not titties.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: Not a fan of the divas, are you Trebek?   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Someone else, please. [Noble buzzes in] Mr. Noble.  
  
**Jamie Noble**: Why are you yelling at me? I was only asking where Nidia was.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: You rang in!  [Hurricane buzzes in] Hurricane.  
  
**The Hurricane**: I know this one, I had it. I had it before that trailer trash girlfriend screwed me up. I had it, I know it, I know it, it's right up here. I had it [ beep ]   
  
**Alex Trebek**: You don't got it. Hurricane, it didn't even involve your previous title belt held.  
  
**The Hurricane**: No, you don't got the title! You don't have the Cruiserweight Title do you! Now let me ask you this: Wassupwithdat?!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Whatever. The answer is Gone With the Wind. Gone With the Wind. All right, Mr. McMahon, the board is yours, so I'll pick a category for you. Let's try the Number 10 for 200. In this category, the correct response to every question is ten. When I stop talking, just say ten. Ok, let's give it a shot. This is how many fingers you have.[Hurricane buzzes in] Hurricane.  
  
**The Hurricane**: Five  
  
**Alex Trebek**: I'm sorry but that is incorrect.

**The Hurricane**: No I meant over five months I could have held that title if wasn't for him! [points at Noble]

**Alex Trebek:** Thank you Hurricane for the information. [Noble buzzes in] Mr. Noble  
  
**Jamie Noble**: Nidia, I just want to say I will always love you... [beep]  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Time's up. Time is up. The answer was ten. You have ten fingers.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: I'll show you a finger, Trebek.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Hurricane, would you please pick.   
  
**The Hurricane**: Wassupwitdis! Now you're on Noble's side!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: No I am not on any one's side, just pick a category.  
  
**The Hurricane**: All right, fine, I'm getting over it. Okay I made my choice: I'll take Famous Titties for 800.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: Well done.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Famous _Titles_ for 800. And it's an audio Daily Double. All right, this song was this TV show's theme. Listen carefully.   
  
[ Plays Batman theme song. ] [Noble buzzes in]

**Alex Trebek:** Jamie Noble?  
  
**Jamie Noble: **It's Nidia's theme.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: No.

 [Hurricane buzzes in]  
**The Hurricane**: It's obviously MY theme music, I don't know what you're talking about Noble!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: No. That is incorrect.  
  
**The Hurricane**: WASSUPWITDAT!? 

[Noble buzzes in]  
**Alex Trebek**: Mr. Noble. Where did you get a guitar?!!  
  
**Jamie Noble**: [ Singing ] _" I love you Nidia, you know it's true..."_

**Alex Trebek**: For the love of god, Nidia is not here! Let's just go to Final Jeoardy. The Final Jeopardy category is just answer the question Where are you right now?[music starts] Just right down where you are right now. It could be California, or a game show, or earth, or the word "here."[music ends] Ok, let's get this over with. Hurricane, you wrote down: "It's" And you wagered: "Mine. Noble" It's mine Noble. Still pissed.  
**The Hurricane**: Yes. That belt is mine Noble.  
  
**Alex Trebek**:[shakes head] Moving on. All right, Jamie Noble, you wrote down: "Nidia Noble."   
  
**Jamie Noble **: Nidia: will you marry me?  
  
**Alex Trebek**: I feel like I want to punch you. Mr. McMahon, where are you right now? You wrote: Good, Lord, you wrote "indoors" that's phenomenal. Are we recording this? Ok, let's look at your wager. "I heart boobs." That's beautiful. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm going home and putting a gun in my mouth. Good night everyone.


	4. Tajiri, Trish Stratus, Vince McMahon (ye...

**Celebrity Jeopardy-WWE Superstars**

Author's note: Don't own nothin' and blah blah blah... I had to decide whether to put Trish or Stacy, so I decided to put Trish. Trish and Lita are both my favorite wrestlers.I thought it be funny if she was here by the way.;)

**Cast: Trish Stratus; Tajiri ; Vince McMahon  
**  


[ Jeopardy Theme Song starts the show ]   
  
[ Alex Trebek is shown behind his podium)   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. You may notice I'm wearing a different suit. [ upset ] Apparently Mr. McMahon felt my leg was closer than the urinal.   
  
(McMahon laughs hysterically)   
  
It's time for Double Jeopardy, let's take a look at the scores. Tajiri is in the lead with -$5,000. Tajiri has answered every question with the same response…   
  
**Tajiri**: [in accent] Do YOU understand the words comin' out of my mouth?!?   
  
(camera back on Trebek)   
  
**Alex Trebek**: That's the one. (to Tajiri) You do understand that you're playing for charity?   
  
**Tajiri**: [confused]  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Just making sure. Next with -$43,000, is Trish Stratus.  
  
(Camera cuts to Trish)   
  
**Trish Stratus**: Because it's perfectly clear I'm giving one hundred percent Stratusfaction guaranteed. And to Stacy: See, I am smarter than you are.

(back to Trebek, who is somewhat bewildered)   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Terrific. And finally, with -$100,000, Vince McMahon is here….yet again.   
  
(camera cuts to Vince)   
  
**Vince McMahon**: I wouldn't miss it for the world, Trebek. I turned down Harry-Fricken'-Potter for this. (chuckles)   
  
(back to Trebek, who seems frustrated already)   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Please God, take me now. Let's take a look at the board. And the categories are..(camera shows game board) "Potent Potables"; "Batman or Robin"; That's where we show you a picture, and you say whether it's Batman or Robin. "Famous Horsemen". That's about jockeys. (McMahon cuts in)   
  
**Vince McMahon**: I bet you've seen your fair share of other men's jockeys crumpled up on your bedroom floor, haven't you Tinkerbell? (Chuckles)   
  
(back to Trebek, who is angered and frustrated)   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Next we have "Point to your Nose";"Things Mom Gave You"; "Superstar Photos"; Keep in mind that everyone of these photos will be one of you. And finally; "Connect the Dot". (camera cuts to Trish, who is gazing at the board) Trish Stratus, it's your board.   
  
(Trish does nothing. Trebek sighs)   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Fine, it's your board, "Patricia".   
  
**Trish Stratus**:  'Batman or Robin' for 400, Alex.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: (shakes head) And the answer is…(board shows picture of Batman, clearly) Is this Batman, or Robin? [Tajiri buzzes in] Tajiri.  
  
**Tajiri:** [speaking in Japanese, then finally saying Robin]  
  
**Alex Trebek**: No. So since it's not Robin, that leaves only one correct answer. [Trish buzzes in] Trish.  
  
**Trish Stratus**: WHO is Robin?   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Amazing. [Vince buzzes in] Vince McMahon.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: WHAT is Robin? Now then, I'll take "Batman or Robin" for 800.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: No, that's the wrong. Let's just go to "Superstar Photos" for 200. And remember, this is a photograph of one of you.   
  
(board shows picture of Trish in a cowboy hat)  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Who is this WWE superstar? Trish, I think you may want to buzz in. [Trish buzzes in]  
  
**Trish Stratus**: Who is Pamela Anderson?  
  
(Trebek is shown confused and angered)   
  
**Alex Trebek**: For the love of God, no. [Tajiri buzzes in] Tajiri.  
  
**Tajiri: **[in Japanese accent] Torrie Wilson?  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Vince McMahon, just pick a category.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: I'll take "whore semen" for 800. (leaves his podium and heads for the board)   
  
(Cut to Trebek, who is very confused)   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Wait, What? Wait…Where are you going? What are you…   
  
(McMahon points to board, the category "Famous HORSEMEN" points to the "hor" first, and then "semen")   
  
**Vince McMahon**: See? "Hor" like your mother. And "Semen"! It's right there! (McMahon laughs hysterically)(Trebek is angered)   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Yes, I see it. (McMahon keeps laughing, Trebek is becoming more frustrated) You're very proud of yourself, aren't you?

**Vince McMahon**: Yes! (keeps laughing)   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Let's just go to Final Jeopardy. And the category is..(screen shows question) Would you like a cookie? (Jeopardy music starts) Yes or No? If you want a cookie, say yes. If you don't, say no. Even if you want a cookie and you say no, you'll still be right. (music ends) Let's see what our contestants wrote. Tajiri, let's see what you wrote down. (blank screen revealed) Nothing. And you wagered: "Japan" interesting.   
  
**Tajiri:** [nods his head]  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Moving on.(moves down to Trish) Trish Stratus, let's see what you wrote  
  
(camera shows Trish's resume taped over the screen, with wrestlers she's slept with) Somehow you've managed to post your resume. Mind-bending.   
  
**Trish**: Alex, you'll notice that I've slept with someone you know here.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Vince McMahon. (Moving down to Vince)  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Trebek, she's a nut-job.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Tell me about it.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: She's nuttier than a pecan log. (both start laughing and smiling together, McMahon pats Trebek on the back)   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Well, Vince, let's see what you wrote. (screen shows McMahon's answer) I'm sorry Alex.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: (somber) That I am.   
  
**Alex Trebek**: (surprised) Wow.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: I know I give you a hard time, but it's all in good fun. I mean, you know that, don't you?   
  
**Alex Trebek**: (pretending to know) Uhh…of course..I do..Vince. Let's see what you wagered, friend. (screen shows McMahon's wager, which reveals the rest of the phrase) Trebek is such a fruit. ( McMahon laughs hysterically and Trebek is disappointed).   
  
**Vince McMahon**: Put that in your straw and ..   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Suck it, I know, suck it.   
  
**Vince McMahon**: Suck it! Suck it!   
  
**Alex Trebek**: Suck it, yes. I hear you. Well that's it, goodbye. I quit...again.  
  
(Trebek walks off with his head down as the camera fades to black). 


	5. Chris Jericho, Stacy Keibler, Vince McMa...

  
**Celebrity Jeopardy - WWE Superstars  
**Author's note: I don't own nothin' and uh...OH YOU KNOW THE REST!**  
Cast: Alex Trebek; Chris Jericho; Stacy Keibler; Vince McMahon**  
  


  
**Alex Trebek**: Welcome back to "Celebrity Jeopardy" It's been an exciting first round. That being said, let's take a look at the scores. Mr.McMahon has -$16,500.  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Damn you and your daily doubles you brigand! One day it'll be my turn, Trebek!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Great. Stacy Keibler, with an amazing -$58,000. And I agree with Trish, who was in last week's show, she is smarter than you.  
  
**Stacy Keibler**: [quietly like all of her lines ] Thank you.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: And finally, Chris Jericho is in the lead with $8.  
  
**Chris Jericho**: I AM A LIVING LEGEND! AND I AM IN THE LEAD!!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: I don't know how anyone could get $8, but better luck to all of you in the next round. It's time for Double Jeopardy. Let's take a look at the board. The categories are.. Potent Potables; The Pen is Mightier.. that category is all about quotes from famous authors, so you'll all probably be more comfortable with our next category..; Shiny Objects; continuing with Opposites; Things you Shouldn't Put in Your Mouth; What Time is it?; and, finally, Months That Start With Feb. Mr. Jericho you're in the lead, so let's start with you.  
  
**Chris Jericho**: Excuse me junior, I refer to A LIVING LEGEND!!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Okay, never mind, Stacy Keibler, why don't **you** pick a category?  
  
**Stacy Keibler**: Um no.. pass.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: You'll pass. Very smart. Something Trish didn't do when she was here. Mr. McMahon, why don't you pick?  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Ah! Well met! I'll take Months That Start with Feb, Trebek.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: For how much?  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Surprise me, you filthy bastard!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Okay, that's completely unnecessary. Months That Start With Feb for $800. This is the only month that starts with Feb. [Jericho buzzes in ] Chris Jericho?  
  
**Chris Jericho**: Febtober!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: No. [Stacy buzzes in] Stacy?  
  
**Stacy Keibler**: What is: Febturday?  
  
**Alex Trebek**: No.  
  
**Vince McMahon**: She said turd!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: I hate you! The answer was February. That's the month that starts with Feb. It was _last_ month!  
  
**Vince McMahon**:  Aha! A trick question!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Yeah, it was a trick question, Mr. McMahon. Why don't you pick a category?  
  
**Vince McMahon**: I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Mr. McMahon that is _The Pen is Mightier_. Mr. McMahon, _The Pen is Mightier._  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Gussy it up however you want, Trebek. What matters is: does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man?  
  
**Alex Trebek**: It's not a product, Mr. McMahon.  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Because I've ordered devices like that before - wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: It's not a Penis Mightier, Mr. McMahon. There's no such thing!  
  
**Chris Jericho**: Wait, wait, wait..you're selling Penis Mightiers? For a junior like you, you're a real smart ass on that one.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: No! [Angry now] No, I am not selling Penis Mightiers!  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Well, you're sitting on a gold mine, Trebek!

**Stacy Keibler:** What are Penis Mightiers?  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Something you don't want to know, let's just move on to Final Jeopardy, which should be a lot of fun. And the category is: The Federalist Papers. Wait, wait, I'm sorry, I'm wrong. That's for regular "Jeopardy", which we'll be taping later today. Your category is: Horsies. All you have to do is tell me "Are Horsies pretty?" [The Final Jeopardy music starts as the superstars scribble some answers] Yes or no, we'll except either answer. "Are Horsies pretty?" Keep in mind, there's **no** wrong answer. [Music stops, Alex approaches the podiums] Let's see what all of you wrote, starting with you, Mr. Jericho, and you wrote: "King of the World." I don't know why you wrote a quote from Titanic, but let's see what you've wagered: "The First UNDISPUTED Champion of the world."  
  
**Chris Jericho:** You better write these down junior, they're all true.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: You know what... I don't care. Moving on. (moves down to Stacy) Stacy let's see what you wrote: [blank screen revealed] Nothing.  
  
**Stacy Keibler**: [ louder than normal ] What? What?  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Settle down, just relax. And you wagered:[blank screen revealed] Nothing.  
  
**Stacy Keibler**: [in a whisper ] The pen was too heavy.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Fair enough. Mr. McMahon?  
  
**Vince McMahon**: We meet again.  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Let's see your answer: [screen reads "Buck" ] Oh, I'm sorry.. that must be you wager. A Buck. And you answer is: [screen reads "Futter"] Futter. Buck Futter, I don't get it.  
  
**Vince McMahon**: Ohhhh. I think you do, Trebek. I think you do, indeed!  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Well, thanks for joining us.  
  
**Vince McMahon**: [yelling] **Buck Futter!!**  
  
**Alex Trebek**: Fine, whatever. That's it for "Celebrity Jeopardy". [shaking head ] Please someone help me from misery...


End file.
